“Don’t spray yourself in the face,” she hollered to her oldest son behind the barrier of her closed front door, my mother-in-law.

“I’m not going to spray myself in the face,” David muttered while gripping the can of bug spray she just shoved in his hand.  And then, he sprayed himself in the face.

“I told you to be careful not to spray yourself in the face,” she said again, but this time, she cracked the door an inch to ensure he heard her.

“I know, mom,” David sighed. “Let’s just do this all ready.”

We had barely pulled into his parents’ driveway before Denise shared with us her plan to evict the wasps who recently built a nest in the wreath hanging from her front door, but she needed David’s help to implement it.

“I’ll stand inside the house and slam the door over and over again,” she said, “while you, David, spray the wasps as they fly away.”

“That’s your plan,” David groans.  “You just want me to stand there and try to spray them as they attack me?  Why don’t I just spray the wreath?”

“NO!  You can’t spray the wreath,” she quips, “the spray will ruin it.”

“But the wreath is fake,” David grumbles.

“I know!  And the spray will ruin it,” she bellows back.

So the plan began.  And Denise took her place inside, and David took his outside.

“GET ‘EM! GET ‘EM!,” Denise hollers after slamming the door the first time,“BUT DON’T USE TOO MUCH SPRAY! WE ONLY HAVE ONE CAN!”

“MOM!” David screams while swiping and spraying, “ THIS CAN HOLDS TWO GALLONS!  DO YOU PLAN ON KILLING ALL THE WASPS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD?”

“NO, WE’RE NOT KILLING ALL THE WASPS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD!  BUT IF IT’S ON THE FLOOR, JUST STEP ON IT, DON’T SPRAY IT,” she screams while slamming the door a second time.

“GET ‘EM! GET ‘EM!, she shrieks, “BUT DON’T USE ALL THE SPRAY!”

 “MOM! HOW CAN I KILL IT, IF I DON’T SPRAY IT,” David bellows back while dodging another attacker. “I’LL BUY YOU ANOTHER CAN!”

 The next thing I know, Denise grabs a broom and books it outside.  “DON’T TOUCH THE WREATH,” she instructs David, “YOU’LL RUIN IT!”

“MOM!  I’M NOT GOING TO RUIN IT,”  David shouts.  “JUST LET ME TAKE IT OFF THE DOOR SO I CAN DESTROY THE NEST!”

Denise finally agrees and David removes it from the front door.

“BE CAREFUL!  THERE’S LIKE 100 WASPS IN THAT NEST,” She snaps.

“MOM!  HOW CAN THERE BE 100 WASPS IN THE NEST WHEN THERE ARE ONLY 9 HOLES IN IT AND IT’S THE SIZE OF A QUARTER,” David shouts as he finally knocks off the wasp refuge and smashes it with his shoe.

“Oh, well maybe it was more like 9 or 10,” she admits.  “It seemed like 100 yesterday.”

And that was the day David and Denise dueled the wasps in the wreath.