Posts Tagged ‘husbandisms’

Husbandism #49

Friday, March 30th, 2012

David:  “I’m not sure I like your new shampoo.  I mean, it smells like what we used to wash our dog with when I was a kid.”

What my husband said last night after smelling my freshly washed hair.

Husbandism #48

Wednesday, February 8th, 2012

David:  “Hey, look what I did to Latham while you were gone!”

What my husband said when I returned from a short bathroom break at Red Lobster.

Husbandism #46

Sunday, January 29th, 2012

David:  “I wish I could find pitty spray that smells like your arms.  I’m serious.  I think I would be happier if I smelled like that.”

What my husband said after I put on vanilla scented lotion from Bath and Body Works.

Husbandism #45

Monday, January 16th, 2012

David:  “Just so you know, no boy will ever say ‘no’ to that question.”

What my husband replied when I asked him if I could eat his pickle – his dill pickle that was served with his turkey sandwich from the deli.

Husbandism #44

Thursday, January 5th, 2012

David: “Don’t worry, I know what will fix it:  A Subway napkin.  It’s works just like a band-aid.”

What my husband said to my 3 year old after he fell down and bit his tongue.

Husbandism #43

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

David: “Too bad I just clipped my toenails, otherwise I could grab it like a hook and pull it up with those.”

What my husband replied when I asked if he could grab me the magazine at the bottom of our bed.

Husbandism #42

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

David:  “It’s so nice having her at work.  She’s like my third mom.”

Me:  “That is nice.  Wait… who’s your second mom?”

David:  “You are.”

The true conversation my husband and I had about his administrative assistant.  And no, I do not make this stuff up.  I. Swear.

Husbandism #40

Tuesday, August 16th, 2011

David:  “Angry Birds.  I like to play it when I’m crappin’.”

What my husband replied when I asked him why he was taking his phone into the bathroom.

Husbandism #39

Tuesday, July 26th, 2011

David:  “So, I told him I had to throw up.”

What my husband told the driver when he saw this sign posted in his cab.  The driver thought it was so funny that he tried to kick David out of the car.  It was a long drive to the airport.  A. Long. Drive.

Husbandism #38

Thursday, July 21st, 2011

David:   “You know what I did today?”

Me:  “No.  What did you do today?”

David:  “I learned how to do an Anaconda choke on You Tube.”

Me:  “That sounds like a constructive use of your time.”

David:  “I thought so!  So, can I try it on you?”

Me:  “Um, no.  No, you can’t.”

David:  “Oh.  Okay.”

The true conversation between myself and my husband that took place right before bed.  Welcome to my world.

Husbandism #37

Friday, June 17th, 2011

David:  “I love that you’re pretty.  You have the face of an angel…..  until you open your mouth – that’s when all the chaos comes out.”

After sharing this particular husbandism with me, I reminded David he doesn’t have to share every thought that passes through his head.  I mean, he knows I have a blog – right?

Husbandism #36

Tuesday, May 24th, 2011

David:   “What do you mean we need new sheets?  What’s wrong with these sheets?”

My husband’s response after I told him we needed new sheets after his toenails tore through our current ones.

Husbandism #35

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

David:  “I haven’t taken out the trash in my underwear for awhile, but it’s warming up.  I mean, if it’s 30 or above – I’ll take a run at it.”

My husband saying how happy he is spring is here so he doesn’t actually have to put on clothes to roll the trash to the curb at night.  And yes, he’s been caught in his tighty-whities several times by our neighbors.  And no, he doesn’t care.

Husbandism #34

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

David:  “I mean, I wish I had her body.  But without the boobs. ”

The comment my husband added to the conversation while discussing tennis player Serena Williams.

Husbandism #33

Saturday, January 29th, 2011

David:  “It’s like walking around with your boob under your armpit – that’s what it’s like to have balls.”

What my husband said when I rolled my eyes at him after he ‘ajusted’ himself while walking into Walmart.