David: “I wish I could find pitty spray that smells like your arms. I’m serious. I think I would be happier if I smelled like that.”
What my husband said after I put on vanilla scented lotion from Bath and Body Works.
Posts Tagged ‘husbandisms’
Husbandism #46
Sunday, January 29th, 2012
Husbandism #45
Monday, January 16th, 2012David: “Just so you know, no boy will ever say ‘no’ to that question.”
What my husband replied when I asked him if I could eat his pickle – his dill pickle that was served with his turkey sandwich from the deli.
Husbandism #44
Thursday, January 5th, 2012David: “Don’t worry, I know what will fix it: A Subway napkin. It’s works just like a band-aid.”
What my husband said to my 3 year old after he fell down and bit his tongue.
Husbandism #43
Monday, January 2nd, 2012David: “Too bad I just clipped my toenails, otherwise I could grab it like a hook and pull it up with those.”
What my husband replied when I asked if he could grab me the magazine at the bottom of our bed.
Husbandism #42
Wednesday, December 14th, 2011David: “It’s so nice having her at work. She’s like my third mom.”
Me: “That is nice. Wait… who’s your second mom?”
David: “You are.”
The true conversation my husband and I had about his administrative assistant. And no, I do not make this stuff up. I. Swear.
Husbandism #40
Tuesday, August 16th, 2011David: “Angry Birds. I like to play it when I’m crappin’.”
What my husband replied when I asked him why he was taking his phone into the bathroom.
Husbandism #39
Tuesday, July 26th, 2011David: “So, I told him I had to throw up.”
What my husband told the driver when he saw this sign posted in his cab. The driver thought it was so funny that he tried to kick David out of the car. It was a long drive to the airport. A. Long. Drive.
Husbandism #38
Thursday, July 21st, 2011David: “You know what I did today?”
Me: “No. What did you do today?”
David: “I learned how to do an Anaconda choke on You Tube.”
Me: “That sounds like a constructive use of your time.”
David: “I thought so! So, can I try it on you?”
Me: “Um, no. No, you can’t.”
David: “Oh. Okay.”
The true conversation between myself and my husband that took place right before bed. Welcome to my world.
Husbandism #37
Friday, June 17th, 2011David: “I love that you’re pretty. You have the face of an angel….. until you open your mouth – that’s when all the chaos comes out.”
After sharing this particular husbandism with me, I reminded David he doesn’t have to share every thought that passes through his head. I mean, he knows I have a blog – right?
Husbandism #36
Tuesday, May 24th, 2011David: “What do you mean we need new sheets? What’s wrong with these sheets?”
My husband’s response after I told him we needed new sheets after his toenails tore through our current ones.
Husbandism #35
Tuesday, April 26th, 2011David: “I haven’t taken out the trash in my underwear for awhile, but it’s warming up. I mean, if it’s 30 or above – I’ll take a run at it.”
My husband saying how happy he is spring is here so he doesn’t actually have to put on clothes to roll the trash to the curb at night. And yes, he’s been caught in his tighty-whities several times by our neighbors. And no, he doesn’t care.
Husbandism #34
Tuesday, April 12th, 2011David: “I mean, I wish I had her body. But without the boobs. ”
The comment my husband added to the conversation while discussing tennis player Serena Williams.
Husbandism #33
Saturday, January 29th, 2011David: “It’s like walking around with your boob under your armpit - that’s what it’s like to have balls.”
What my husband said when I rolled my eyes at him after he ‘ajusted’ himself while walking into Walmart.
Husbandism #31
Wednesday, December 29th, 2010David: “I mean, hot doesn’t matter when your personality sucks.”
The real reason my husband believes is behind the break up of movie stars Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson.
Husbandism #30
Wednesday, December 1st, 2010David: “We didn’t have cheese and we didn’t have crackers, but then I found these! These are perfect!
What my husband said about the Cheese Its he crumbled on the bowl of chili he was chowing down for dinner while he was taking a bath.
Kelsey on Valentine Goodie Guide
I thought about you yesterday while I was at target and your valentine preschool experience last year! I am in charge of T's class this year and I know it...Erin O'Brien on Oh, Dana Kellin How You Dissapoint Me.
I must disagree with you review on Dana Kellin for Target! I thought the pieces were very pretty. I purchased some pieces as gifts for my mother-in-law and mom and...Kelsey on Would A J.Crew Model Wear It?
You will rock this look. I know it.scott on Husbandism #47
i totally agree with dave! why do you put my friend thru such torture?kelsey on Husbandism #47
ha ha! i get "why do you watch this crap, you are an educated, smart woman." what ben says EVERYTIME i am watching ANYTHING on Bravo, especially Real...