David:  ”I’m not sure I like your new shampoo.  I mean, it smells like what we used to wash our dog with when I was a kid.”

What my husband said last night after smelling my freshly washed hair.

David:  “Just so you know, no boy will ever say ‘no’ to that question.”

What my husband replied when I asked him if I could eat his pickle – his dill pickle that was served with his turkey sandwich from the deli.

David:  “It’s so nice having her at work.  She’s like my third mom.”

Me:  “That is nice.  Wait… who’s your second mom?”

David:  “You are.”

The true conversation my husband and I had about his administrative assistant.  And no, I do not make this stuff up.  I. Swear.

David:  “Angry Birds.  I like to play it when I’m crappin’.”

What my husband replied when I asked him why he was taking his phone into the bathroom.

David:  “I love that you’re pretty.  You have the face of an angel…..  until you open your mouth – that’s when all the chaos comes out.”

After sharing this particular husbandism with me, I reminded David he doesn’t have to share every thought that passes through his head.  I mean, he knows I have a blog – right?

David:   “What do you mean we need new sheets?  What’s wrong with these sheets?”

My husband’s response after I told him we needed new sheets after his toenails tore through our current ones.

David:  “I haven’t taken out the trash in my underwear for awhile, but it’s warming up.  I mean, if it’s 30 or above – I’ll take a run at it.”

My husband saying how happy he is spring is here so he doesn’t actually have to put on clothes to roll the trash to the curb at night.  And yes, he’s been caught in his tighty-whities several times by our neighbors.  And no, he doesn’t care.