“Do you see that,” David asked.
“See what,” I stalled.
“That huge, green highway sign,” he pestered.
“Yes, I see it,” I answered, but it wasn’t the exact answer he wanted and I knew it. He wanted me to tell him how many miles it stated until the next exit.
“It’s too late,” he grumbled. “I’m sure you can see it now.”
The thing is, I couldn’t. I really could not see the mileage small print – which obviously isn’t that small – on the humongous highway sign until we practically whizzed past it.
He knows I need glasses. He knows I know I need glasses. He also knows I don’t want glasses, but he doesn’t really know why. My silly secret: vanity. I don’t like what I see when I wear them.
Once upon a time, in a career far, far away, my boss forced me to wear glasses. He thought not only did I need them – which I did. He thought they gave me credibility – which they did. And he thought they flattered my face – which if I do say so myself, they did. Since I was a television news anchor at the time, my ‘look’ was something he cared very much about. In fact, consultants were paid a lot of money to tell him anything and everything from how I should cut, color, and style my hair to what clothes, make-up and shoes I should wear.
Right after he hired me, he realized I squinted while reading the teleprompter which only sat 3 feet from my face and once video rolled, I would hold the paper copy of my script inches away from my eyes. I think it took him all of 30 seconds after the broadcast ended to find me and order me to have my eyes examined.
For two years, I wore glasses and for two years, I didn’t mind. I mean, I didn’t have all the fine lines, freckles or a little family of skin colored moles living on my face. Now that I live with all these little lovelies, I don’t need a high definition dose of them daily – thank you very much.
When I retired from broadcasting to get married and have a family, I retired my glasses as well. I stuffed them somewhere in a junk drawer until my husband dug them out the other day. He said I should at least wear them when I drive. I put them on to please him and made the mistake of looking in the mirror. Let’s just say, I threw them away immediately I misplaced them and have no idea where they are.
I mean, I can see. I passed the eye exam at the DMV last year with flying colors and that’s all that really matters, right? I just perfer to live my life with fine lines a little softer, freckles a little lighter, and moles a little smaller.