“Have you ever liked the way you looked in a swimsuit?” 

It’s an honest question only a good friend can ask – a friend like Jill.  She’s the kind of girl who tells it like it is and doesn’t sugar coat it.  Jill has three little ones under four years old and honestly just doesn’t have the time or energy to hear me go on and on and on about how I can not lose the last ten pounds of baby weight.  I mean when Jill’s two year old is smashing crackers into the hair of her one year old while her four year old is clinging to her leg and begging to play video games, I totally get why she doesn’t want to listen to me whine. 

The grumbling began though when I told Jill my husband and I are taking a trip to Hawaii.  It’s been four years and two kids since we’ve taken a real vacation together – a vacation where you leave the babies with Grandma and cry all the way to the airport.  (Don’t even get me started on that topic.  The mommy guilt I feel about leaving them is gut-retching.)  “It doesn’t matter what I do” I told Jill, “I could eat doughnuts and lay on the couch every day and not gain weight or I could eat veggies and work out every day and not lose it either.”  “It’s so frustrating!”  “All I want to do” I complained, “ is look good in a swimsuit!”

“Have you ever liked the way you looked in a swimsuit?”  Jill said while peeling her oldest son off of her.

For a split second, I was stunned.  The question stung a little bit but in a good way.  You know how you feel the day after a really good work out?   Your muscles are so sore that it even hurts when you squat to put your fanny on the pot to pee?  Yup, the question stung like that. 

After I recovered from the initial shock, I thought about the answer.  “No,”  I replied.  “I’ve never really liked the way I’ve looked in a swimsuit.”  Not even, I thought to myself, when I was sixteen and perfect. 

“There you go,” Jill said.  “”No one likes the way they look in a swimsuit.”  She continued, “You look great.  You work out.  You eat well.  Your clothes fit.  You’re just obsessed about a number on the scale.  Stop worrying about it and have a fun on vacation with your husband.”

Jill’s right.  I guess it’s nice having the kind of friend who slaps some sense into you from time to time – even if it stings.