David: “I mean, I wish I had her body. But without the boobs. ”
The comment my husband added to the conversation while discussing tennis player Serena Williams.
Archive for the ‘husbandisms’ Category
Husbandism #34
Tuesday, April 12th, 2011
Husbandism #34
Thursday, March 10th, 2011Husbandism #33
Saturday, January 29th, 2011David: “It’s like walking around with your boob under your armpit - that’s what it’s like to have balls.”
What my husband said when I rolled my eyes at him after he ‘ajusted’ himself while walking into Walmart.
Husbandism #32
Friday, January 21st, 2011David: “Whoa! Are you trying to bring back Umbro shorts and the 80s with that outfit?”
What my husband said after seeing what I wore to the gym today.
Husbandism #31
Wednesday, December 29th, 2010David: “I mean, hot doesn’t matter when your personality sucks.”
The real reason my husband believes is behind the break up of movie stars Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson.
Husbandism #30
Wednesday, December 1st, 2010David: “We didn’t have cheese and we didn’t have crackers, but then I found these! These are perfect!
What my husband said about the Cheese Its he crumbled on the bowl of chili he was chowing down for dinner while he was taking a bath.
Husbandism #29
Monday, November 22nd, 2010David: “He wanted his green car but I couldn’t find it, so I tooted with my armpit a couple times, and he was good.
The quality entertainment my husband performed for our 2-year-old to get his mind off his missing match box car.
Oh, You Don’t Do That? I Do.
Wednesday, November 10th, 2010I tease my husband a lot. And by tease, I mean make fun of. I can’t help it. To not make fun of him would be like asking me not to laugh when I see someone trip.
Oh, you don’t do that?
Um, I do.
And, again, I can’t help it. There’s something wrong with me. I know. Seriously, an 80 year old woman with a walker could take a tumble and I would crack a rib cracking up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not heartless. I mean, I would help the old lady, but I’m pretty sure I couldn’t do it with a straight face.
And that straight face would come in super duper handy with David. The guy is all worked up about that commercial where the bald baby rolls around in his walker on the highway. (Have you seen the ad? Click on this HP Baby link if you haven’t.)
“What do printing pictures have to do with a baby getting run over by a car,” my husband hollers every time the commercial airs.
I rarely see David all riled up, so I do my best to feed the fire by humming the commercial music whenever he’s within ear shot. I also really enjoy looking it up on You Tube and playing it on my computer while he’s watching TV.
“Oh, real funny,” he says. “That’s like me making you watch animals kill each other.”
“It’s just a commercial,” I laugh. “The baby is not really in his walker surrounded by cars.”
“Well,” he huffs, “I still don’t like it.”
But just for fun, I think I’ll hum the music in his ear super soft while he sleeps tonight just to see what he does. I think it’ll be funny.
There’s something wrong with me. I know.
Husbandism #28
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010David: “Whoever poops ‘em gets to flush ‘em.”
My husband’s words of wisdom to our boys after he heard them arguing over who got the privilege of flushing Reichen’s poop down the potty.
Husbandism #27
Tuesday, October 12th, 2010David: “Do not put this on the blog. I’m serious. Don’t.”
What my husband told me right after her realized sending me this picture on my phone of him getting his teeth whitened probably wasn’t the best idea. I love you, honey. I’m serious. I do.
Husbandism #26
Saturday, September 25th, 2010David: “It was really, really good. And then, it was really, really bad… if you know what I mean.”
How my husband described his experience with a Sausage, Egg, and Cheese McGriddle from McDonald’s.
Husbandism #26
Sunday, September 19th, 2010David: “I missed you so much. I need you around here to tell me what to do.”
What my husband said after I returned home from my 6 day trip to Washington D.C. I asked him if I could record him saying that sentence, and he replied I could even post it on my blog. So here it is, honey.
Husbandism #25
Sunday, September 12th, 2010David: “I only ran over it once. My front tires and back tires hit it, that’s all. Now, if I ran over it with my front tires and back tires, and put it in drive and ran over it again with my front tires and my back tires, that would be twice.
David’s defense when I brought up how I wish I could use the suitcase he destroyed a couple months ago but can’t since he ran over with his car – twice.
Husbandism #24
Tuesday, September 7th, 2010David: “Since you’re always wondering what the boys and I do when you’re running errands, I recorded it.”
p.s. Make sure you don’t miss The Great Giveaway. You have until Thursday, September 9th at noon to enter. Good Luck!
Husbandism #23
Monday, August 30th, 2010David: “Can you please not eat that granola bar in bed? The crumbs always get stuck in my back hair.”
Super Duper Important Editor’s Note: The only way my husband would let me post this husbandism is if I explained in a quite clear and concise manner that he does not, in fact, have a tremendous amount of back hair. There’s not a forest growing back there. Or enough to knit his own sweater. No, David has even less than the normal amount of back hair any normal 30 something would have.
There. I said it.
Kelsey on Valentine Goodie Guide
I thought about you yesterday while I was at target and your valentine preschool experience last year! I am in charge of T's class this year and I know it...Erin O'Brien on Oh, Dana Kellin How You Dissapoint Me.
I must disagree with you review on Dana Kellin for Target! I thought the pieces were very pretty. I purchased some pieces as gifts for my mother-in-law and mom and...Kelsey on Would A J.Crew Model Wear It?
You will rock this look. I know it.scott on Husbandism #47
i totally agree with dave! why do you put my friend thru such torture?kelsey on Husbandism #47
ha ha! i get "why do you watch this crap, you are an educated, smart woman." what ben says EVERYTIME i am watching ANYTHING on Bravo, especially Real...