Everything skinny scares me.  Everything.

Example #1:  Skinny Lattes.  I mean, have you seen the milk used to make that drink?  Some call it skim.  I called it gross.  There’s no way that cloudy water posing as the liquid cows create will ever touch my tongue.  No way.

Example #2:  Skinny Actresses.   Two words:  Lindsay Lohan.  ’Nuff said. 

Example #3:  Skinny Pants.  Unless you’re 6 foot tall and weigh 98 pounds, no one looks good in skinny jeans, skinny cargos, skinny shorts, or any other item of clothing that calls itself skinny.  No one.

But guess what?  I could be wrong!  (Four words, by the way, my husband has never heard me utter in my life.  And I only write this now in complete secrecy while he sleeps soundly while slobbering next to me because I don’t ever want him to know that I know those four words can coexist.  You understand.) 

Here’s the proof:

While I was perusing pants at Nordstrom’s Half Yearly Sale this afternoon (Yes, ladies!  It’s that time of year again!), I totally rolled my eyes at the idea of even trying on these skinny cargo pants by Sanctuary.  But I grabbed my size anyway and decided since I was already headed to the fitting room to try on a pair of jeans, I would give the cargos a crack, too.

I died, came back to life, and died again after I saw for myself how great these skinny cargos looked.  I could not believe it.  Most of the time, I can’t even get skinny pants passed my calves.  And if I do happen to get them passed my calves, there’s no way I can pull them past my fanny.  And if I do happen to get them past my fanny, there’s no way I can sit down in them.  And if do happen to be able to sit down in them, there’s no way my fanny would actually stay in them.  You see my dilemma.

So, I admit, not everything skinny scares me these days.

But c’mon.  There’s no way I’m changing my mind about skinny lattes or skinny actresses.   I mean, cloudy liquid posing as milk and Lindsay Lohan, right? 

Right.