David: “Can you please not eat that granola bar in bed? The crumbs always get stuck in my back hair.”
Super Duper Important Editor’s Note: The only way my husband would let me post this husbandism is if I explained in a quite clear and concise manner that he does not, in fact, have a tremendous amount of back hair. There’s not a forest growing back there. Or enough to knit his own sweater. No, David has even less than the normal amount of back hair any normal 30 something would have.
There. I said it.