“Who is your momma, Momma?” It takes me by surprise, his question. With brows furrowed, Reichen peers at me through the rear view mirror waiting for an answer. We’re in the minivan driving to Target. I promised my potty training toddler he could pick out one toy from the super store if he went #2 on the toilet. A few minutes and a series of squeezes later, we had a winner.
“My momma is Nina,” I smile at him and say. ‘Nina’ named herself after my brother gave her her first grandchild seven years ago. I’m not sure why she didn’t want to be called ‘grandma’, but I have a sneaking suspicion it had a something to with her feeling too young to take the title.
“Your momma is Nina,” he squints while questioning my reply.
“Yeah, buddy. Nina is my momma,” I confirm.
Reichen mulls it a minute before asking, “Momma? Who is Dadda’s momma?”
I see it. It’s happening right in front of me. He’s making connections, my first born. He’s beginning to think outside himself.
“Dadda’s momma is Grandma,” I say.
“Dadda’s momma is Grandma,” he reiterates.
During the 10 minute trip to Target, we go through quite a few branches of our family tree. Who are my brothers, aunts, uncles, grandmas, and grandpas. Who are daddy’s brothers, aunts, uncles, grandmas, and grandpas.
And he gets it. And it’s amazing.
Almost as amazing as him going #2 on the toilet.
Almost.
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Tags: potty training, Reichen, Target
In Chinese culture, you call your grandparents, aunts, and uncles on each side of your family by different names. For example, I’d call my grandmother and grandfather on my dad’s side ” A Mah” and “Ye Ye”; on my mom’s side they’d be “Po Po” and “Gong.” I suppose it makes sense considering Nina’s confusion over which grandma’s which, but as a child I found this sooo confusing–and having a different name for each uncle and aunt depending on the side of the family and whether they were older or younger than your parents! I still have to nudge my mom and ask her what to call someone at big family reunions.
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It’s amazing to me that at his age he is thinking about who your parents and othe relatatives are. I don’t remember any of you asking those questions until much later. As far as the “Nina” name goes; it wasn’t the “Grandma” stigma that I was trying to avoid, I wanted the grandchildren not to have differentiate between the grandma’s by using the last name (i.e Grandma Emmons/Grandma Young) like I did growing up. I never knew what grandma we were talking about unless the last name was added. For some reason I didn’t like that.