When I stress, I twitch. Not a convulsing, throw myself down, and flop on the floor kind of thing. It’s more of a endless wiggle of my right eye kind of thing. It is so constant and so irritating, I’ve totally convinced myself everyone can see it.
Me: Look at that! Can you see it?
Husband: See what?
Me: My right eye. It’s twitching. Can you see it?
Husband: Ummmm, no.
Me: You can’t see that? It feels like my lid is about to lift off my face. You must be able to see it.
Husband: I don’t see it.
Me: You’re kidding me!
Husband: Oh, wait! I see something!
Me: Really?
Husband: No.
He thinks he’s funny, my husband. But David won’t be laughing during the next few months when my Lizard Brain runs rampant. According to a recent magazine article, (Traditionally, I would tell you the name of the magazine so you could refer to it yourself, but since I can’t find it and don’t remember which one it was, I guess I won’t.) lizard brain is the reason behind my seasonal stress twitch.
Scientists say the lizard brain was the first lump formed at the top of our spine (evolutionarily speaking) hundreds and hundreds of millions of years ago. The slimy little devil is responsible for action, functions such as breathing, heartbeat, and possibly pooping. He’ll also take credit for ego, instinct, fighting, self protection, lust, sex, anger, and greed.
In other words, he’s like the friend who is fun to go camping with, but you don’t really want to invite him over for Sunday brunch.
While I appreciate everything my lizard brain does daily, he drives me crazy this time of year. The primitive self protection function is all, why do you have something scheduled every single second from Halloween to New Year’s? I don’t like it. It makes me all uncomfortable and stuff. And if I’m uncomfortable, then I’m making you uncomfortable and since you’re uncomfortable, let’s just forget the next couple of months entirely. I mean, don’t you think it would be easier to crawl under the covers and forget all this entertaining, driving, flying, shopping, decorating, birthdays, and holidays?
And then I’m all, YES you’re right lizard brain! (twitch) It would be so much easier to forget all this entertaining, driving, flying, shopping, birthdays, and holidays. (twitch) I do want to crawl under the covers and forget it all. (twitch)
But then, Dog Brain reminds me it’s not all about the lizard. Furry and cute as can be with that little button nose, the dog brain formed on top of the lizard brain some 100 million years ago. That means it’s practically still a puppy. This part of the brain is more densely wired than the lizard brain. That means it can handle more complicated things like emotions. Loyalty? Love? No problem.
The dog brain has my family’s back. When lizard is telling me to run and hide, dog is barking how much that would hurt every one’s feelings.
And finally, look who walks in on his hind legs waving his banana around. It’s Monkey Brain! The latest addition to the brain cake in our skull will not only take credit for things like thinking, language and consciousness, but he’ll also write up a contract to make sure you credit him for it. The monkey brain brings in his bag of tricks; music (yea!), math (okay, math can be cool), politics, and deception (sometime the same thing).
Monkey tells me lizard is ludicrous. Yes, I need some of his primitive party tricks, but I can totally handle all of the holiday craziness headed my way.
I don’t know. (twitch) It’s a battle of the brains and right about now, (twitch) I’m wishing I could send them all on a fun little vacation. I’m thinking some place tropical, perhaps Hawaii or maybe Mazatlan. I think little lizard brain would really like getting back to his reptilian roots. (twitch)
Related posts:
Loved your article on our complex feelings and our love/hate relationship with the whole holiday thing. I’ve never heard it explained in those terms. Maybe an occasional glass of wine with your hubby at the end of the day would put all those “brains” to sleep for a while and you could just cuddle, breathe and enjoy.
my right eye itches every night around nine pm. and i can’t rub it enough to make it go away. is this the same thing? i have a gecko tattooed on my back but it’s covered up by a much larger tattoo so i would think that would make the lizard disappear. or is he just blending in?
oy.