Why doesn’t anyone ever ask how many months old I am? For the curious: I’m 416 months.
As a mother of a one year old and a two year old, I’m always being asked how many months they are and I always never really know. I stare blankly at whomever is asking the much too complicated for me math question and try to calculate the answer as quickly as possible - which is never quickly enough.
I admit it: I am one of those ‘slow’ kids who uses her fingers for everything math related. I pull out the handy dandy digits to help me calculate daily. They’re especially useful when I have to figure out a 20% tip – that can be tricky.
I know why these moms are asking; they’re sizing up my boys. They disguise it in a I-care-about-your-kid kind of way, but I know what they’re doing: comparing their one year old with mine or my two year old with theirs. I never realized how competitive women were until I entered the sport of motherhood. Every time my boys reach a milestone, it seems there’s another mom whose kid has done it faster and better and they’re going to tell me all about it.
When did your son start walking? 15 months? My kid was 9 months.
When did your son learn to use a spoon? 16 months? My kid was 10 months.
When did you potty train your son? He’s not, yet? My kid is and I trained him in one day.
They also want to know how much my boys weigh, what they eat, how they sleep, how they travel, if they watch TV, and how tall they are. And that’s not all; they want to know if they take naps, how many naps, how they handle time-outs, and how much they cry. The questions are endless, but it always starts with the same one: how many months are they?
I think it would be pretty funny if the next time I met someone, I asked them how many months they are; I bet they might even have to consult their digits to answer.
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This is just a way that the pediatricians have started to keep track of things developmentally, and some people got hold of the terminology. Most are unaware of any significance, so who cares!!! You don’t have to buy into that quibbly stuff anyway.”
I think the motherhood/competition topic is so interesting and there are so many angles to take on it. For example, I often think the other moms aren’t actually being competitive — as in, I hope my kid is better than yours. I think there are two other things going on. 1.) The mom is hoping that her kid is “normal” and that she is doing a good job. If you compare your kid to another, it helps you realize that it’s all normal. 2.) Discussing the struggles — sleep, discipline, etc — helps us all to relate and to realize that other moms have the same struggles we have. It’s kind of like that post about your sister-in-law — we see the other moms and we wonder if maybe they just have everything together and we don’t.
That’s my biggest thing. I don’t care if my kid is smarter, cuter, better (whatever that means), etc. I just always feel like I’m struggling to get through the day. I can’t get him to sleep long enough, I can’t get him to stop the tantrums, I can’t even get my house clean or dinner made! I wonder if I’m just lazier than the other moms or if they struggle too.
Great article…you nailed many of the observations I made when I had young’uns.